A dozen...

That is how many years it has been. A dozen. 12 years since I lost my Mom to cancer. Nasty old cancer.
Seems like each year gets easier to think on all the good times. Yesterday, marked 12 years of my life without my Mom. It is such a personal journey. I had an amazing Mom and we shared what I am realizing now, was a very unique and rare relationship. I feel like I am building that same relationship with Ashley, though it isn't as many years old as the one I had with my Mom. I was 43 when my mom lost her battle here on earth, but reached the finish line in heaven! And we rejoiced! She was an amazing mom and grandmother, and she approached both of those duties with God by her side! We all learned a lot from mom. Oh how I hope I can pass that legacy on to my children and grands but I am afraid that filling her shoes will always be a challenge.

Yesterday I tried to spend the day thinking on all the wonderful things she taught me. She was a good teacher, I hope I can always remember her lessons!

But as much as I thought on all the good, I have to admit I long to have a conversation with her. To be at her feet and gain wisdom. The two of us had lots of fun times...whether it was sitting over a cup of coffee talking about life, family, God...or cooking, sharing recipes, crafting, digging in the flower-beds, traveling, shopping...we always had more to do and talk about than there was time...that's a good thing. We ran out of time before I was ready but it was God's perfect timing for her.  My memories are full and rich.  I have so very much to thank God for.  I was so fortunate to have a Mom who loved me, cared for me and made sure I knew God.

Every time I am with my grands...I think of my Mom. She loved our two kids like crazy. She would have been even more crazy in love with her great-grands. I wish she could see Owen's little freckles, Clay's intense blue eyes, Will's adorable dimples and Emma's sweet curls. But then again, she can see them. I feel her presence daily and though not here on earth anymore, I still feel her gentle nudge to do the best I can and to love deeply.

Thanks Mom. You are missed BUT never ever forgotten.